


Gloria and Agony

by Otaku415



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 16:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16371524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otaku415/pseuds/Otaku415
Summary: Enjoy this complicated love story between two men stuck between heaven and hell.





	1. Just One Today

**Author's Note:**

> This story is from the perspective of Jean. He's telling you his story the way that a 15-18 year old would.

The life was worth it but when we die we go to 1 of 2 places Heaven or Hell. You become a demon or an angel. You either want to watch them choke on their halos or spill your guts for them. But when you die you can’t change who you become. You stuck a demon or an angel But me I want Just...One...Yesterday. My name’s Jean and I'm a demon but this is my story.

 

It all started when I was in a car wreck. Me, uh, I was hit by an 18 wheeler, and my 2015 ford truck was completely crushed. I was alive for about 3 minutes before my heart finally gave out it was so much Fucking pain it felt like I was drowning in my own blood. My ribs stabbing my lungs. My heart was going so fast a first so more pain and I was spewing blood but it realized I won't live and just slowed down making it more agonizing. I heard the people say stuff like “get him out of there or the car will explode”. It did after about 10 minutes. But I wasn't the only one there was this guy in the car behind me. When people came over to help him he would yell ‘go help him he's in worse shape than I'm in.’ he should've got the help because, in the end, we both ended up dying. He tried to get his foot out I think and the car cut off his ribs and some of his head. And the worst part, The guy who ran both of our cars over was unharmed other than a bump on his head from hitting the steering wheel. He ran a Fucking red light at 70 mph it was a 45 and running a red light get you to get a month-long prohibition. He didn't even anything for speeding in a 45.

 

Anyway, I saw him up there about 30 seconds after I died it was like I just woke up in heaven. He's was right next to me as well. I said, “Hi my names Jean what's yours?” He replied “Marco.” I start to blush a little ”So thanks for telling them to help me instead. You should've gotten it because at least you had a chance.” He just sat there smiling. He looked really familiar. Like really really familiar He softly spoke: “ I wanted to make sure we're ok.” “you died for me.” I say concerned “hey don't worry I know I did it for a reason” he smiled. I couldn't help myself this total stranger who looked really looked similar I couldn't help it tears pouring out of my eyes. He leaned over pulled me in for a hug holding the back of my head. He whispered in my ear “shh it's ok. We're going to be ok.” his voice was soft and comforting. Next, we saw this bright light. it said very loud and powerful. “Jean Kirstein, Marco Bodt, you are here because your soul has left your body because I have cut your life's short for a purpose. He still lives for another. don't ask why. come to my children, enter the gates of heaven. But remember if a sin is deemed by lucifer your soul will become a demon spreader of hate. You both are now angels. Welcome.” She disappeared then these gates opened wide. I looked back him and he smiled at me making me smile. He grabbed my wand started walking into these gates he said: “Come on Jean.” I started to walk us both holding hands. 

 

We walk in and it's like we're alone in this forest full of snow. Something started pulling me away deeper into the forest it looked like a snake with 12 arms. “Marco! Marco!” I yelled reaching my hand out. But he wasn't there. WOMPF! I hear right in my ear it's Marco. He's holding a sharp stick in his hand stabbing the creature near me. it started holding me tight suffocating me Marco pierced it harder. it finally let go but it grabbed Marco. “NOOO!” I yelled grabbing the stick. I did this backflip thing then stabbing it in what I think was the heart. it let go of him. He dropped like a rock in a pool. I jumped and caught him in my arms “what the hell was that?’ I say panting and gasping. This angel appears her name, Savannah. She was the same angle from before. She spoke kinda sarcastically but calm, “you'll both be in trouble, but this is the forest of Glory and Agony. The place angels go to suffer and become demons by turning into animalistic creatures. This is the last place an angel is an angel. if they still have a little bit of hope left they can be saved but both will suffer. if you kill a demon like that in that state you have saved it from an eternity of pain, he could not be saved. Each form is different.i hope you don't suffer like I see Jean, and Marco is Wise.Goodbye.” with a flash of blue and white light she was gone. We stared in awe. Me still holding Marco. I run my hands through his hair “ hey are you ok?” he was panting and tired he smiled and kissed me. My eyes flash open but then relax as I run my hands through his hair a little kissing back. We played in the snow. Both on our backs kinda ashamed but we did not care. I looked at him and rolled onto him straddling and kissing him when we were done making out we got up and walked through the forest wondering why we did it. I know why...I loved him.


	2. Just One Tomorrow

“So what! Who cares! We are both dead. Dead! I'm just a soul, a spirit in a place, with him, oh ...him. oh, he's just perfect. His face and his honey tan skin and his slightly brown freckles. Fuck! I can't stop thinking about him. Why can't I? He and I are dead and we can't either.. This is Heaven and I'm in a hell. Ugh!” I kicked a tree snow falling on Me. I was walking through the forest talking to myself and trying to hide my feelings for Marco from Marco. “What do I do?” I mumbled to myself crying a little “is this even allowed? I'm a fucking Homo after all a dead homo in heaven, the place where it's a sin.” lost in my thought I bumped into something, “hey what the hell” I barked back and looked up… it was Marco, I blushed instantly starring up embarrassed like a lost little kid “oh hello Jean” he smiled like usual I could feel an arrow no wait a bomb go through my heart. “M-Marco. oh, I'm sorry” I said trying not to have my drool run out of my mouth. but I noticed something he didn't sound right, he didn't look right. I could feel a sense of darkness and evil surround me. I never knew I could feel evils presence but I could. Marcos face and body started to fall apart showing a black shadow kinda like an animal-human hybrid with white glowing eyes. I felt it start to grow its shadow like body around me like I was fusing into it. “Why is it so dark. Where is Marco? Did this thing eat him too!?” I start to thrash around inside feeling it try to take control of me. I felt lost but in torture and pain I knew I was going to be done for but when would it take control. Starting to get the week I passed out but seeing a white light and an angel that looked like Marco. But that's the thing Marco was an Angel I was already dead, I can't die again, can I? I felt him ripping open the creature and he held me close. I laid there my head in his chest him curled down while my legs laid still on the snow my back on his lap while he was sitting with his legs out. “Jean?! Talk to me! Jean!” I heard his yelling but to me, it was an echo. My eyes moved a bit under my eyelids. I felt his touch move my hair out of my forehead as he planted a kiss on it “don't worry Jean I'm here” he said softly. We laid there in the snow him staring down at me while I was passed out. With him there, I felt the evil washing away.

 

I finally opened my eyes open slowly and gazed up at him “Marco?” I asked looking up at him, his face that saved and healed me “Jean” he smiles as my hand reached up to the side of his face my thumb rubbing his cheek. He turned his hand into it “I love you” he said with a slight blush creeping up. I blushed wildly and pull his face closer slightly with my hand and rubbed his cheek once more “I love you too” I smile and kiss him kinda soft since I was weak still it was like he understood everything even the right way to kiss. Sitting in the snow it started to fall again but it was light landing on his eyelashes and my hair. But with every snowflake, the fluttered a bit and eventually opened softly and we parted the kiss gently. “Never scare me like that again ok. I don't know what I would do without you” he said soft and calming but serious at the same time I nodded “ how about I stay by your side for now on okay” he blushed and held my hand softly intertwining our fingers. “I would like that” he smiled and picked me up. but he’s a lot stronger than I thought I know I was light only about 145 pounds but still he was carrying me like a princess with ease but I kept my gaze upon him like a lost puppy who found someone to love and take care of them but that's what Marco was to me, someone to love and take care of both ways.

 

He took me to where we had first woke up kinda shielded from the elements a little cottage if you will. He set me down on the bed and covered me up laying flat on it glaring up at the ceiling but his face in my view up as he pecked a kiss on my forehead and turned around and took a step away “M-Marco uh wait” he turned around and stepped back “yes Jean?” I swallowed hard and blushed “come here” I grabbed his hand and pulled him into bed with me his face flustered as I held him “ I love you” I smiled as he blushed and smiled back “ I love you too” I moved my hand to behind his head and pulled it his face moving closer to mine as I kissed him hard but with no hesitation he kissed back the same way hard and passionate. it wasn't long till I felt him bite my lip softly getting edgy a little as I responded with a smirk through him holding onto my lip in his teeth gently and held him close by his waist and out of nowhere felt as though I needed to pull off his shirt and see what his honey skin and freckles lead too… so I did and boy was it beautiful but scary.. he had a scar on his chest from where his car killed him but I gazed at it and he broke the kiss and looked down at me tracing my finger down it softly his leaning on top of me more “I'm sorry Jean” he said softly “don't be ever I love it just like you nothing can make me not” I said back and kissed him again more passionate more loving he kissed back as I pulled off my shirt and pulled him over me more. Me sat on the bed making out I felt him touch my chest nervous and I smirk “ I don't like this” and push him down me laying on top of him “ this is better” and kissed down his neck soft leaving a small hickey I felt his hands on my back as my hands moved effortlessly over his body kissing him and caressing him soon the rest of our clothes dropped. I never felt anything like this before it's amazing he's soft and willing and I'm rough and sleek and let's say things lead to things. After everything we laid next to each other my arm around him both of us snuggled in my bed “ I love you” I kissed him and smiled laying there for a moment.

 

Next thing I know spirits bust through the door sending me into panic and a shriek as he stayed calm holding me close. I tightened my grip around him and shifted my weight and other arm bringing him to my chest “we are the console come with us!” they ordered and pulled us apart with the bed sheet on me and the cover blanket on him they dragged us out as he hit his head I heard the Clang. “Marco!” i yelled “ I'm alright Jean” i got hit on the head “Hey! isn't this heaven no abuse!” i barked at them “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin, James 4:17” the men said and pulled my arm back “you broke many laws so thou must be punished” I gulped thinking something can go wrong “I'm the one who did everything only punish me!”. They said nothing and brought us both to a dark room full of members of the council with white robes covering their faces. Marco seemed tense and so was i “this shame has come to us and done dirty deeds in heaven Jean Kirstein shall be sentenced to removal and sent to hell as a Demon,” the man said stern. I gazed at Marco who was shaking a little looking up at me “ Jean you have laid with another man for this you shall go to hell and become a demon” in a flash pain went to my head my clothes changing to black and horns growing from my head, I became cold as Marco stared at me in horror. “Jean!?” he called out scared and he started transforming as well but his clothes became more white and a robe holding a red rose. “Marco Bott, from this day on for being damaged in Heaven we have made you a part of the council we hope you can eliminate sin like Jean with us,” he said but Marco stayed silent looking down tears gathering in his eyes.

 

My fingers started to turn black with frostbite as my soul I felt become wispy and black it felt like the creature that tried to kill me. “Marco, I'll be fine I love you!” I yelled back tears rushing down my face “ forgive me I know I won't be the same!” and in a flash fire shot up from the floor as I'm burning in the center everyone watched like nothing while Marco was crying bent over and crouching on the floor listening to my wails and cries in pain. I stared at him the whole time “I'm sorry Marco I love you please say something!” I yelled and cried and fell in front of him tears going down my face and turning into sizzling steam in the fire. The sides of the rose became charred so I moved back a little as I heard him swallow hard “I love you jean” he said tears running down his face as more tears went down mine and disappeared I felt evil growing inside me “AH!” I yelled and held my head tight and glared d at him my eyes a slight white color then going yellow back and forth as I stared in his eyes him glaring back and smiled softly “I'll save you I promise” “No! I'll be fine this way I love you” and in a flash of fire and ice left the room everything going black again. Marco sat looking at the burn and frost on the floorboards “So Marco shall he freeze or burn?” the council asked him. He shivered as I feel in abyss my eyes changing from yellow to white to normal and to red and back again. “if he freezes it will numb the pain he feels… he'll be in the forest of shadows. Then let him freeze” Marco said scared but stern having a plan. 

 

And in a flash, my soul was ripped from me and turned black and cold and going back into me causing me to smirk evil for it took me over with darkness. I dropped in a tree testing my evil abilities but I wasn't normal. Remember the ice and fire surrounding me when they made me this way, well it's because I'm a demon in hell which is hot and fire but because I was already kind cold-hearted they kept it that way. But I think Marco made a mistake because who knew he would burn with me. Without me his life became a hell, but who knew it would be a thousand years till we saw each other again. But when I got there I yelled crying my eyes out it freezing the second it hit my cheeks and rolled of frozen tears “macro! Marco! Where are you!? Are you Alright?!” I say in the snow in tears but sniffled having the evil take over my thoughts “he put me Here! He's to blame!” I screamed and kicked snow hitting a tree and saw a familiar figure. “Savannah?” I quivered as she walked up to me throwing the snow back “hey douchebag stop that ok you did it yourself you homo” she barked at me as I gulped and threw more snow at her as she is red hot flames coming off her as she pushed me into a tree snow falling on me as it crystallized more “your ice huh… sorry man sucks to be you but I did warn you don't break the rules” she walked away from a little “Sav! Wait!” I yelped as she stopped “why are you here are you a demon?” she shook her head “no I'm an angel just I have a little power when your ice you can never be helped” she vanished as I quivered looking down and swallowed hanging in trees board out of my mind but when creature came to me, I would kill and eat their darkness making me stronger. A Thousand years I waited and saw no one but being pissed off stomping through the snow I bumped into someone who I knew and gazed up at them “M-Marco?”


	3. Just One Yesterday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for a brief moment it changes to Marcos point of view sorry if the confuses anyone.

I couldn't believe it. No, it can't be I swallowed hard as he smiles at me “Hello Jean it's been a while” I almost grinned but instead I flustered with anger “A while? A While! Over a thousand years and it's just a while to you! I fucking loved you, Marco!” I fell back in the snow in tears as he stood there and gulp tears rolling down his face as he laid next to me “Loved huh. Too bad I still love you” he smiled and kissed me as I kissed back soft remembering how I felt with him but pushed him away and ran as fast as I could scared of everything that could happen again. He ran after me still holding the charred rose between his hand like a wine glass and grabbed my hand forcing me to turn to look at him “Jean listen.” Interrupting him “Let Go Marco!” I yelped as he gazed at me “Listen, Jean, it wasn't your fault please calm down, it's not my fault either we were punished for some bullshit” he said a bit, more calm as I was enraged deeply “We?! You weren't punished! Shut up you don't know what you're talking about I'm the only one here who has to suffer you haven't felt any pain at all!” I yelled and ripped my hand from his and looked at him as he gazed back scared and swallowed hard “Are you kidding me, Jean? I didn't suffer? I don't have you that's already hell!” he said back stern as I glared and lifted my lip in a slight snarl “pfsh whatever! leave now you to have no place here” I said laying back down in the snow as he laid next to me “you came here I didn't have to” he sighed and I turned to him “you died so I could get help you wouldn't be here if you” I stopped mid-sentence and spoke slow realizing “you died for me” I lowered my head as he lifted my chin looking at me “Please understand I'm putting lives at risk to be here with you I'm risking my own life, but anything for you Jean” he said it so soft then smiled and planted a small kiss on my forehead before disappearing 

 

I glanced out as icy tears gathered and continued to walk around board every so often Marco came back looking for me as I just lurked in the shadows and behind trees till he left. Even though didn't say a thing it was enough for me but who cares right I'm only dead in a hell for eternity. Why did it have to be me but I would hate for it to be him why can't we both live normal. Oh, wait we can't live where both dead...ugh I hate even myself. The last I remember was he bumped into me as he pissed me off talking how good the world was trying to pin the blame on me when we all know it’s not all my fault it wasn't his either we only can blame cupid haha… ok, I'll stop now. “Jean listen to me” I flashed into the tree “ No you listen! I hate when you come here it’s more torture for me!” he swallowed hard as an uneasy feeling floods through me as his voice thickens a little with rage “I come here because I love you, you're so stubborn” I rolled my eyes crossing my legs standing in a tree and jumped down as snow flies out under my feet “ha! Funny Marco! how fucking hilarious! I'm sick of you! Stop bothering me and go bless mother Theresa or some shit!” I yelled back and he smiled up at me “I promise I'll make this right and make you yourself again.” I roll my eyes “over a thousand year Marco I can't go back it's taken me over” I softly yelp it my voice full of pain. I felt so dumb or crazy every time because I felt as there were 2 sides to me. My normal self and my evil demon self. “ I still love you Marco” I smile and leaned closer to him almost falling as I feel him grab me “I think that if I come here enough you'll come back to me” I smile and hold his face in my hands and kiss him quick I felt his hands rest on my shoulders kissing me back softly. After a few moments, I felt him pull away in instantly disappear as I drop to my knees crying “what the hell is wrong with me. This is what got us in trouble in the first place goddamnit!” I felt my tears leave a frozen trail down my face but instantly burn away and stood up wiping my nose and stand against the tree looking up at the light snow. 

 

Years later it took to see him again but when I did something wasn't right with him he looked hurt “Marco what's wrong?” I asked him as he turned and snarled at me “Jean. I hate you never ever think of me again!” he said stern and a bit upset I looked at him and down “I told you it would never work out, but why this change of yourself? Of your heart?” he looked at me and yelled “I don't Mean, I can't stand this anymore it's too painful for me!” he yelled back as I jumped on a grave as he yelled at me as I growled and my fists tightened together “Fine the go, but you should have given up on me already!” I yelled as Marco pushed me off the grave slipping off easier as ice covered under my feet from my anger and despair, the fall had completely knocked me out...

 

I had seen him fall and let out my tears I was holding back and smiled kissing his forehead “I Love You jean, but you being here is a pain for me that murdering me than my already dead self! please don't try to find me. I love you” I looked up putting my hands together and chanted “I'm sorry ”. I leaned down and smiled exchanging my soul for his, having the evil from him rush into me as the good in me rushed into him. He woke up and smiled shocked as I turned away as he stood up in my-my white robes as I turned at him the evil changing my soul instantly “This will never work out, you said so yourself.” I turned and walked away as he stood there clutching the rose “Don't leave I wasn't myself” he sobbed slightly as I disappeared. I never wanted to have him see me like this. “Jean I Love You”

 

I stood there crying and ran off from the forest keeping the rose charged with the fire I had created that day in the hall. I couldn't bring myself to go back to anywhere Macro once was, I couldn't even go to the forest I bet he wouldn't want me there anyway. But the petals to the rose soon were frostbitten still my soul good but my heart froze looking back at everything I sighed “Marco I Love You”

And so they lived  
Never together again


End file.
